Grab Bag: Lent

Fasting from self-aggrandizement: an approach to lent

"Think about what gets in the way of prayer for you, and then maybe give that up?"

The Christian season of Lent starts tomorrow. For those unfamiliar, it's the 40-day period leading up to Easter that commemorates Jesus' trial and crucifixion. Folks frequently observe Lent by giving something up—a practice that's meant to be self-sacrificial in communion with Christ’s suffering.

My perspective on Lent deepened a couple years ago when a mentor at church shared her view that the season is about remembering that they killed Jesus, and then asking herself: "How am I still killing him today?"

I don’t think you have to observe Lent from a traditional Christian standpoint to still have the query be powerful: How am I denying a spirit of love by what I do, what I leave undone, and how I approach the world?

We don’t have to be committing acts of wickedness to still be guilty of denying the goodness in ourselves and others, living in ways that inadvertently opt for death over life.

Moving Beyond Self-Improvement Sacrifices

I think the ways we often choose to mark Lent are self-sacrificial…with a wink. Maybe we choose to give up alcohol or junk food—in theory for Jesus—but we also know it would be nice to lose 10 pounds in the process. Lent can easily become a time for thinly veiled self-improvement projects.

I experienced that this year. I'd felt called to a fasting practice and was planning to not eat after noon during Lent. But then I realized how many externalities there would be: Would I skip every family dinner? My wife and daughter's birthday celebrations? How many people would notice I wasn't eating and then I'd have to explain about Lent, turning it into "here's me doing something hard to be good"?

I've also been reading about Brian Johnson (the guy trying to not die), who doesn't eat anything after 11:00 AM for health and sleep benefits. Part of me was curious what would happen to my own health metrics if I fasted. While there would be plenty of moments of hunger where I appreciated that Jesus also suffered and that God provides ample food for me, the whole thing risked getting wrapped up in an ego-driven, self-optimization project.

Finding a Different Path

I took this dilemma to an AI coach, which I'm increasingly using as a thought partner. I explained that I wanted something that actually feels like fasting.

I listed some things I'm attached to, many of which seem like good things: health, workouts, productivity, meeting new people and being social, ample sleep, being a good dad.

Together, we came up with three areas of fasting that would all be deviations from my normal patterns. The goal is increasing presence, vitality, and communion with Christ, while decreasing rigidity, overpowering, and me-centeredness.

My Three Lenten Practices

1. Fasting from being on any kind of diet
Instead of seeing food as a temple for discipline and egoic reward/validation, I'm going to eat what's presented to me. As much as possible, I'll practice mindful eating—being present and aware of what I'm actually consuming, rather than multitasking while eating.

2. Fasting from tracking my workouts
No Garmin, Whoop, or any fitness device. I'll still exercise, but I'll move freely and prioritize what really feels like it will serve my body. No Strava internet points from my runs, no giving myself credit for heart rate or reps—just being present in my body.

3. Fasting from being in a hurry
This might hurt the most. Each day, I'll designate a two-hour period where I will deliberately not be in a hurry. I'll do everything at 80% speed with conscious breaths and transitions between activities.

Sharing the Heart of Lent

My aspiration through these practices is to be more present, vital, and in service to life, love, and the Christ energy. I want to move away from how I often override and optimize in service of my own purposes.

I’m aware it’s ironic to be focused on less self-importance while also blogging and publishing on this — my hope is that this creates an avenue for examination and discussion.

If you're walking a Lenten journey too, I'd love to hear how you think about Lenten practices. What works for you, how are you approaching it this season?

As always, I’m grateful for you. Good luck out there today and this week.