022: Hospitality, Sobriety, and Self-Discovery: Lessons from Cesar Wurm
On the blessings of Awareness, Gratitude, Community, & Healthy Habits
Cesar Wurm is the VP of Commercial for IHG Hotels & Resorts, author of ‘The Powers of Addiction: Finding Freedom in Acceptance and Recovery, and Leadership Atlanta Class of 2023
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Cesar and I covered his journey in the hospitality industry, his struggle with alcohol addiction and recovery process, and his decision to write a book about his experiences.
Cesar discussed the challenges of maintaining sobriety in a social industry, the importance of finding healthy habits with cascading benefits into all areas of life, and the impact of sharing his story publicly.
Particularly, Cesar pointed to his cultivation of four important pillars: awareness, gratitude, community, and healthy habits.
You can listen to or watch the episode here:
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Sharing three reflections on my conversation with Cesar and how he inspires me towards better living:
1) The power of authentic, vulnerable sharing
When discussing this newsletter, a friend once said: “You know, everyone has a dumpster fire in their backyard - it’s just a question of how high of a wall they build around it it. Are you going to position yourself as a ‘finished product’ or admit that you’re a mess?
That (somewhat harsh) question points to a truth: we all have ample struggles, habits, thought patterns we’re trying to kick.
When we acknowledge our demons it can create a space to put our armor down, let ourselves be known, and create the conditions for doing the work to put out the fires.
What Cesar found is that sharing his story gave other people the courage to share their own. Friends and colleagues have gotten help for themselves or their loved ones because of his example.
The takeaway for us is that, if you’re going through something, sharing in your desired private or public channel might be giving a gift - both to yourself and to those you’re letting in.
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2) You can be sober at parties and functions!
Cesar embodies the archetype of the host. I think he said hello to six people by name from the time I met him in the lobby until we got off the elevator.
It’s so easy for me to imagine him as the life of the party! It’s less easy for me to imagine him saying “thanks but no thanks” when others offer him a drink.
I so often tailor my drinking habits to the room I’m in rather than what I’m exactly in the mood for or my health/training goals.
This is beyond irrational, but I know I’m not the only one.
Cesar’s example reinforces that we don’t actually have to do that to be gregarious, charismatic, and a friend and ally.
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3) We need each other
Multiple times Cesar expressed gratitude for his wife being the firm but gentle rock who mirrored his behavior back to him, believing there was a better, greater man inside him waiting to emerge.
Whether it’s a spouse, AA group, or some other tight knit community, life’s too hard to carry the weight alone.
We need to find our people and invest in those relationships in the good times such that we can rely on them in the hard times.
And, whatever good place we’re trying to go, we need to try and go together.
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Resources for folks wanting to learn more:
The Powers of Addiction (book): Cesar’s journey of addiction, recovery, and transformation. With a pretty sweet cover that his daughter helped him design.
Note, he shares more about the self-publishing process in the podcast.
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Questions for reflection:
Have you had a time where you shared a struggle in a way that felt raw and vulnerable, whether that was in private or in a more public forum? What happened? Was it worth it? What did you find in the process of sharing that you perhaps didn’t expect?
From Cesar’s framework of awareness, gratitude, community, and healthy habits - is there a particular area you feel desire to build more of in your life?
Here’s the episode again, please give a watch/listen!
You can listen to or watch the episode here: